Shrunk and Unhappy
by Spooky Dingo
Summary: Being shrank down to the size of a human when you're normally a thirty foot tall giant robot is one thing. THAT, and having your personality changed at the same time? Oh yeah. That's another. Megatron's going to get his big shiny aft kicked. (K for Cybertronian foulmouthedness.)
1. Chapter 1

**Hurr. Silly oneshot I wrote a while ago and decided to give an ending to. I don't know if I should continue it or not, but rereading it, I love writing from Optimus's POV this way- he's so irritable it's funny. xD I might, I might not. We'll see.**

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Being shrank down to the size of a human when you're normally a thirty foot tall giant robot is one thing.

THAT, and having your personality changed at the same time? Oh yeah. That's another. Megatron's going to get his big shiny aft kicked. But maybe you'd like it better if I started off at the beginning, huh?

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Just a normal day, laa dee daa. Bumlebee, Bulkhead, and Arcee brough the kids over. Whoopdedoo, Ratchet threw his wrench at Miko. Then he found some energon. And a bunch of Decepticons. AND OF COURSE WE HAD TO GO KICK THEIR AFTS.

Because...? We're Autobots, that's why! Go frag yourself!

Ahem, sorry. Onward ho, back to the story! So we teleported and stuffs (it's really called Ground Bridging, but does it look like I give a frag?) and lo and behold, ol' Megatron's there waiting to whup us. But hey, we ain't goin' down with no fight! Of course, I ordered the attack as soon as the Vehicons started blasting us. Me being the only one who can take on Megatron, thank you very much, I charged him! We both had our swords out, and I had my facemask down, optics glowing with rage, blah de blah, when suddenly something hit me from behind. I fell into stasis lock looking up at the white grinning face of Knock Out, that horrible "medic" as the world dimmed. You don't know how scary it was seeing his face looming over me, looking horrible and gigantic as he smiled. He was saying something like, "Who knew it'd be so easy?" and I was thinking something like, _Wow, what a terrible way to die. Shot in the back by a guy who can't take his paint being scratched. Don't give what you can't take, bro! _Alright, maybe I didn't think it like that, being Optimus Prime and serious faced and all that scrap, but you know. The feeling is what I'm getting at.

Apparantly Bulkhead or Arcee or someone had butted in and gotten to me before the Cons had a chance and took me back to base. The next thing I knew, I woke up and everything looked small, far away...big! Like I had been...shrunk.

"Whazz goin..." I muttered blearily, trying to wake up fully. My optics were open but it was still hard to see. One thing that wasn't hard to tell was that my voice was suddenly a lot higher pitched than normal. Suddenly a human face was in my face, and I let loose a started shout as Miko popped into my feild of vision, looking much bigger than she had been the last time I saw her.

"Hi Boss Bot!" She said cheerily, her black and pink hair bouncing as she jumped up and down on the berth I'd been put on. It looked...human sized.

"What the Pit? What's going on?!" I snapped, now fully awake as I sat up straight.

"You got shrunk." Jack answered from a nearby table. Whoaaa...Wait, was I in someone's house? This wasn't the medbay! Jack caught me looking around in confusion and supplied, "Welcome to my house. Ratchet let you come here since he didn't have any human-sized beds and something was malfunctioning on base. He wouldn't tell us what though." The young black-haired teen shrugged.

"This is gonna be great!" Miko whooped. "We can-"

"Uhhh, Miko, maybe he needs some time to adjust." Raf said as he came into the room. I guess I looked pretty upset, since he sounded a little frightened.

"Don't be going all Doc-Bot on me, Raffy!" Miko teased cheerily, giving Raf one of those...what were they called? Noogies? Yeah. That was it. Raf shot her an irritated look and tried to smooth down his already messy hair.

"I'm not, I'm just saying, you know how tall he is. Optimus just woke up anyway." Raf huffed, and from the tired look on his and Jack's faces- Miko must have gotten a hold of that energy drink Monster, or she was just completely unaffected by lack of sleep, because she didn't look tired at all- I judged it was probably late at night. And they'd stayed up for me. How sweet.

"Ahem." I broke in with a gentle coughing sound that wasn't so gentle as I intended. "Does your mom know-"

"Jack, Miko, Raf? Can you three keep it down? I'm sure Optimus doesn't need all that commotion." June called up from somewhere else in the house.

"Yes Mom!" Jack answered immediately, but Miko just sniggered.

"Momma's boy!" She giggled. Raf rolled his eyes, but Jack...His eye twitched and he looked like he was ready to lunge at Miko.

Which is what he did. Across the bed. And he landed.

Right. On top. Of me.

...Wonderful.


	2. Chapter 2

Jack landing on me didn't hurt so much. It's just the startling realization that a sixteen year old seems to weigh a lot more when you're just a bit taller than him. He landed right across my chassis, and it kind of felt like a muffled shot from a Vehicon. Not too bad, but not really all that pleasant either. I figured it hurt him more than it hurt me, because the harsh breath he exhaled after landing didn't sound fun at all. Disregarding any and all pain he may have felt, he tried right away to scramble over me and ended up kicking me in the helm.

THAT hurt.

"Ow!" I shouted, but Jack didn't react. He was already jumping at Miko again, and had her in a headlock a moment later.

"My mother," Jack growled, for all the universe sounding like a rabid turbofox, "is all I have left. Don't you ever make fun of me like that again."

Admittedly, I could have done something. I think Raf was looking at me for that, but I just sat and stared. I'd never seen Jack that angry before, so this came as a surprise. I finally figured out how to talk again and said sternly, "Jack." Miko's face was looking strained, and she'd given up trying to get out of the headlock. "JACK." I repeated, when my earlier attempt elicited no response. "Fraggit Jack, let Miko go! You're choking her!" I snapped, getting up and stomping over just to catch his attention. Jack finally looking up, realization dawning on his face. He released her quickly and Miko gasped for air.

I crossed my arms and waited for Jack to apologize. I gave him a moment, though, because he looked pretty traumatized by his own actions. A minute later he drew in a long, shaky breath and said, "Primus Miko, I'm so sorry." He plopped down on his bed and ran a hand through his hair, looking stressed out. In any other situation, I would have raised an optic ridge at his choice of words, but I let it be. Who cared?

"I thought for a nanoclick there I'd have to pry you off her, Jack," I said brightly, attempting to lighten the mood. Apparently all that did was make him feel worse, because he looked up at me, and I instantly felt bad. "Oh...'kay. That didn't go as planned." I murmured to myself. Not that I'd put any thought into it anyway, or I wouldn't have said it.

"Sooooooooo..."

After that touching statement, I promptly committed myself to collapsing in a heap on the ground, vaguely noting that carpet looks very odd up close. Then of course, I was out like a lightbulb, some energy readings notifying me that I needed energon as I automatically fell into recharge, my systems evidently trying to conserve what energy I had left.

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"DON'T TOUCH ME THERE YOU MOTHER FRAGGER! THAT IS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE!"

In all honesty, I'm not sure what horrors confronted me during my recharge...and I'm not sure I want to know. I came around very abruptly and vented in frustration. Mirthful laughter surrounded me, and even Ratchet was shooting me odd glances. After just another moment, I couldn't take it any longer and spat, "What. The FRAG." That caught everyone's attention. As mad as I was, it took a lot of control (not that I had much) to not flinch under the unwavering stares of my comrades. I could see more why most anybody would be frightened by our presence- even Arcee was terrifying! Well, she sometimes is a rather terror-inducing bot...A regular ball of sunshine, that one, eh? Not gonna lie there...Rephrase: Even wide-opticed, innocent Bee was scary. He looked downright massive from this perspective, and I could only wonder what it would be like for a human to look up and see me (normal sized of course) or maybe Megatron. I don't think I'd really cause all that much pant-wetting, but Megatron would probably make any human want a fresh set of underwear, plus several spares.

"..What are we going to do with you, Prime?" Ratchet moaned forlornly from his post.

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**Oh my...I'm so sorry it took me so long to update this. I'm not sure where this fic is going, but people seem to like it...soooooo...I guess I'll continue it!**


End file.
